It is 1:18 AM after a long day working and then an evening class,
watching the National Spelling Bee on TV, emptying the dishwasher and
getting ready for tomorrow's full day while watching Jay Leno. I
should have been asleep 2 hours ago. So I sit at the computer.
Am I wide awake because I got alot of sleep last night? Nope. Went to
bed at 2 AM, and the last time I saw the clock it was 3:10 AM. First I
was hot, so I threw off the sheet, opened the sliding door. Then I got
cold so I closed the door, but I got hot again a few minutes later. I
turned the ceiling fan on, and just before the house began to hover
over the neighborhood, I got cold again so I shut it off. Woke up at 6
AM and stayed in the bed, hoping to doze off. Finally got out of bed
at 7.
This is a typical night for me lately - I am off my estrogen and all the old signs of menopause are returning.
I never got hot flashes, just night sweats. I asked a doctor what the
difference was and he replied, "The time of day." Smarta$$. I spend
alot of time flipping my pillow over to find the cool side. I tend to
flip myself over for the same reason; I am like a freshly caught carp
on the deck of the boat, flapping for survival. When the ceiling fan is off, I feel like I am
suffocating and when it's on, I hear it magnified in my ears. WHAT IS
GOING ON???
When I told the family that I was going off my estrogen, they were
horrified. "Mom," they said, "you have to die of SOMETHING! Why not
go happy?" Isn't it nice how thoughtful they are?? I'm a lucky girl...
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