Eyes-heimer's

Several months ago, I had eye surgery.  Not the remove-the-wrinkles-and-bags surgery, but the improve-the-eyesight surgery.  I have worn glasses since age seven.  Without those glasses, I only was able to see clearly about 3 inches.  Great for eyebrow tweezing, but not for everyday life.  I had contact lenses implanted in my eyes (I know, it sounds gross), and one eye was tuned for nearsightedness and the other was tuned for farsightedness.  Great idea.  It is called monovision.  I think that is a misnomer and it should be called duovision, but I digress.  My brain was trying to average out the vision between both eyes and the result was that I could not see well at all. 

Back to the doc for a little laser zap that made both eyes see the same.  Now instead of Coke-bottle glasses, I can get away with cheater-glasses for reading.  GREAT!  BUT...now my brain is playing tricks on me, and this is where I hear from friends that I am not alone.  It seems that when I see a word, my brain thinks it sees something else, something CLOSE to what I should see, but not exactly. 

An example of this happened the other night when I was watching a baseball game involving the Atlanta Braves.  One of the Braves' had his name on his shirt and I was SURE it said Stinker.  What it really said was SNITKER.  OK, that was pretty innocent.  But the next day it happened twice. Once in the shower when I was sure that my shampoo bottle said Fat-free when it really said Sulfate-free, and another when I was looking in a home magazine and was just positive that some new window-coverings were named after that cute young boy who came in second on American Idol - David Archuleta.  Except the window shades were called Duette Architella!  And now on my calendar, under next Tuesday's date, I read 'Baskin-Robbins'.  Upon closer examination, it really said that it is the anniversary of my friends, Barbi & Robbie.  So in tribute to Barbi and Robbie, I will go to Baskin-Robbins and raise a cone in salute to them, after I lower my David Archuleta shades and fluff up my Fat-free hair!